Saying Goodbye to She

You must come to a place in your life where you take responsibility for the person you’ve become; the good the bad, and the ugly.

I spent a lot of time in a really docile place. Complacent, unmotivated, lazy even. For a long time, I couldn’t figure it out. I was happily married, I recently found out I was expecting my first child, I had a great job, I was graduating with my Masters, and I had a lot of AMAZING plans.

But there was something still missing. Something within me was unsettled, unsatisfied. I was missing a true sense of my purpose, a true direction in life. I grew up for so many years being everyone’s leader and example. I knew all the right things to say to help people find their path but I was still feeling so lost.

I was this big walking DREAM, but struggling to bring myself into reality. Burdened by fear and uncertainty. Haunted by broken friendships, many I knew ended partly or entirely because of me. I knew I hurt some people a long the way, I knew I had some low moments of not being the nicest or kindest person. But I also know I’ve been hurt, abandoned, embarrassed, and even shamed by people who claimed to love and care about me.